I am a lumatic. There’s nothing better than wearing a highly luminous watch looking out across a glittering nighttime cityscape (a lume with a view). Old man that I am, I depend on a luminous watch when I wake up in the middle of the night and wonder how much time I have left before daybreak. Like Racer88, a glowing watch never fails to fill me with childlike wonder. So why don’t I like the Bell & Ross Vintage BR V2-94 FULL LUM? Let’s take lume off the table and start with my antipathy to chronographs . . .
Ever since Alexa and Siri entered my life, I don’t see the point of a watch with a stopwatch function. It’s not that I don’t time pasta. I simply prefer to wear a [highly luminous] watch with a rotating bezel (the B&R’s fixed). Or tell Siri or Alexa to ping me when Al Dente is In Da House – rather than repeatedly peering at little subdials that I can’t read without removing my glasses and bringing the watch face a few inches from my eyeballs.
Not to belabor the point (much), I find tri-compax (three subdial) chronographs particularly vexing. Watches like the six-handed OMEGA Speedmaster Moonwatch Professional Chronograph (above) make reading the stopwatch more challenging than Finnegans Wake and eliminate time-at-a-glance-ability.
Is any of that important? I’m a cantankerous curmudgeon and die-hard (with a vengeance) minimalist. Equally, people don’t buy chronographs to time things. Just as divers use dive computers rather than dive watches, people who need to time an event precisely rely on electronic technology.
Chronographs are a vintage play, just like watches equipped with the poster child for useless complications, the tourbillon.
Consumers buy chronos up and down the price ladder ($53,100 Audemars Piguet [Re]Master One above) because they harken back to a time when horse trainers had to measure doped-up equines’ speed with a mechanical device. And/or they heart subsidizing the considerable skills needed to make such an antiquated machine.
Don’t get me wrong: upsized neo-vintage timepieces offer classic style with modern reliability. Hats off to anyone who uses their hard-earned money to patronize (in the good sense) old school watchmaking. For whatever reason, upsized horological neo-nostalgia is all the rage. B&R knows this well enough to produce no less than 13 41mm BR V2-94 “vintage” chronographs.
Ah, but one of these things is not like the other, and I’m not talking about a $600 price premium or limited availability (250 pieces). I’m referring to the fact that the FULL LUME chrono doesn’t look vintage.
Well, it can’t look vintage. Watch luminosity dates back the early 1900’s (beginning with deadly radium). Longines released the first wrist-borne stopwatch in 1913. While there’ve been luminous chronographs in the intervening 108 years, only the hands and indices got the glow-in-the-dark treatment.
Although the TAG Heuer Professional Night Dive watch – briefly glimpsed in 1987’s Bond flick The Living Daylights – had a fully luminous dial, full dial illumination wasn’t really a thing until Timex’s Indiglo Ironman.
“OK Boomer” me all you want, but I don’t consider a watch whose style dates back to 1992 “vintage.” If I want a watch with a pseudo-vintage + glowy face combo, it’s a Timex Easy Reader all day long (and well into the night). Sure it’s as common as muck, bland as toast and cheap as chips. But at least it doesn’t look like canary sick.
If I have to describe the Bell & Ross Vintage BR V2-94 FULL LUM’s cognitive dissonance in a word, I’m going with “cartoon.”
In its “review,” HoDinkee used a B&R product shot showing a model wearing a lurid lime colored jacket – a piece of sartorial splendor that only a drug-crazed soy boy would wear. What does that tell you? It tells me that the words “attention grabbing” don’t mean what HoDinkee and Bell & Ross want them to mean.
In natural light, the watch’s luminescent green face and pale yellow Super-LumiNova-filled indices combine with black markings to create a vibe that’s only slightly more subtle than a signal flare. In the dark, the face loses its green face – thankfully – the major indices remain metallized pale yellow, and the 30 minute chronograph counter turns blue. Why blue? Why not? In other words, cheap sensation.
Well, not cheap per se. The BR V2-94 Full LUM costs $5100. That’s a lot of coin for a watch powered by a modified ETA 2894-2 movement. [Note from watchwiki.com: “Unlike the Valjoux, which can be serviced by a watchmaker, the 2894-2 chronograph module is only serviceable by the factory. Repairs typically consist of replacing the module entirely.] A watch whose light show wouldn’t be out of place at a country fair.
Oh it’s comfortable enough on its waterproof rubber strap. Sporting screw down pushers and crown, the Chrono FULL LUME is good-to-glow to 100m (sufficient to withstand the rigors of posing by a pool). That said, the dual-tone 300m water resistant Diver FULL LUME serves an obvious purpose: underwater legibility. B&R’s glowy green chronograph makes about as much sense as colorizing Citizen Kane.
Lighten up (so to speak)! It’s fun! Fair enough. If you’re looking for a well-made novelty watch for novelty’s sake, the Bell & Ross Vintage FULL LUM is a sensible choice – assuming sense and sensibility has anything to do with it. Just remember there are less expensive, more coherent horological night lights. And you can’t turn this one off.
Model: Bell & Ross Vintage BR V2-94 FULL LUM (limited 250 pieces)
Case: Satin-finished and polished steel
Bezel: Fixed anodised black aluminium ring with 60-minute scale
Crown/pushers: Screw down
Dial: Luminescent green Super-LumiNova®. Numerals and indices coated in Super-LumiNova®. Metal skeletonised Super-LumiNova®-filled hour, minute and seconds hands.
Crystal: “Ultra-domed” sapphire with anti-reflective coating
Movement: Automatic mechanical Caliber BR-CAL.301 (modified ETA 2894-2)
Power reserve: 42 hours
Functions: Hours, minutes, small seconds at 3 o’clock and date. Chronograph: 30-minute counter at 9 o’clock, central chronograph seconds
Water-resistance: 100 metres
Strap: Black rubber
Buckle: Pin, satin-finished and polished steel
RATINGS (out of five stars):
Cartoonish, slightly sickly hues on a vintage vibe chrono.
Legibility * * * * *
Gotta admit, it’s easy to tell the time.
Comfort * * * * *
A bit thick, but then who isn’t?
Overall * *
Nicely made novelty watch that has no business existing (hence limited edition) that costs a bomb (five grand). Still, if you’re a well-heeled lumatic who wants something different, here it is.
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